I am wondering if these are questions posted to me by the devil...
Past-Present-Future, they all fit the bill.
Right now these questions come up in respect to my most recent crash/accident/injury/surgery/
pain/recovery/outcome.
When going into my past, again accidents, injuries, cancer, divorces, pain....
The same questions arise at all times.
Sometimes the same questions come up in reference to my future.
Needless to say that my current situation takes center stage. Second to my motorcycle vs
18-wheeler acident which took place in Sweden 1978, this seems the worst injury, pain and recovery I am enduring.
As I'd like to think, my spiritual growth has helped me to nip these questions in the butt early on and give the battle to God. But geewiz, with my 'competitive make up',I love to engage in the battle, before I surrender!
It is Dr. Bernie Siegel, MD in his book "Love, Medicine and Miricals", suggesting we take on an attitude of 'wait and see', when in such situation.
Even though I trust Dr. Matt Williams,MD whom respectfully agreed to perform this incredible surgery, I can't afford to allow these questions to take up too much of my mind's activity. My faith has to be in God and somehow/someway/sometime He will claim His victory in these rough times.
But what if I have to give up cycling? What if I have to stop practicing physical therapy? What if this pain is going to be more persistant than I'd like to?
So often, during the late hours of my days these battles go on.
My true hope is, that when everything else fails, it'll increase my faith.......
I am assured when that happens, everthing else will fall in place!
So here it is... The new Precision Bikes Racing Team uniforms are on order, the tires are pumped up, the bikes shined and tuned..... Watch out!!!
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
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3 comments:
We all have to deal with these difficult questions as we meander through the battlefield called life.
Your questioning of your own circumstances (past, present, and future) has nothing to do with the Devil or God in my opinion.
You are having these thoughts because you are a true warrior in many more respects than most. You are currently navigating through life as a injured warrior, which presents such a difficult challenge to true warriors like yourself Ruud. Why?
Because you lead life, life doesn't lead you. Ruud Vuijsters is always at the front of the charge!
You are simply not happy sitting on the sidelines while all of your warrior friends are slaying obstacles their respective lives have dealt them.
Trust me when I say that you will be back to your warrior ways sooner than you think, and you are merely being fucked with by your own mind.
Man up and get your mind focused on your return to the bike, because we all know that you will ride till you are put in the ground.
Strijder
Wow, it's going to be hard to follow The Rhino here, but here goes....
Don't get discouraged friend. Things always look their worst when you are emerged in it.
Give yourself some more time, and in a few months, when you're riding again, you'll look back on all of this and think,"Eh, it wasn't so bad!"
Take care Ruud!
Jason, Amy you are both right. Rudd is Type A all the way and just from what I have went through with one little bike wreck, I know your mind can fuck with you. With support and faith in the end you are right, we will look back and say, man that was just one more step we have taken in life. I know you are confident because you would not be jumping on a bad ass C-50 just to put on a trainer. You are planning to get on the road. I am with you dude!
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